i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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