Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
