the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize