Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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