She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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