I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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