Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
