when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
