I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize