I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have feelings that need drinking.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize