I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
