he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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