Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize