you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
