Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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