I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
