Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I enjoy the company of your penis
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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