hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize