Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize