my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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