dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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