I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
