you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
