What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I AM VODKA MAN
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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