I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
