Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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