chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We had to coat check the pizza.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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