He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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