how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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