I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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