jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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