wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
