is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize