i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
