I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
