Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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