So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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