Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
