Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
