Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
