So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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