how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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