the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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