shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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