But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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