just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
