i think my mom watched the whole time
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
