hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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