see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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