Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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