His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
