I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
