just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
