fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
