I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
