remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
