look no pants
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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