Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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