I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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