Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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