she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
