How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
