he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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