Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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