Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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