I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
