you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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