Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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