Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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