just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
