Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
