People in love make me want to vomit
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
