and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
